"It's only hair" and other really silly things people say

If you're diagnosed with cancer and told you will need to have chemotherapy such as FEC-T, these are some of the facts of your situation:

You will need to do whatever it takes to get rid of the cancer.

You're very likely to temporarily lose your hair as a result of chemotherapy.

In the grand scheme of things, keeping your hair is not nearly as important as getting rid of the cancer.

However, unless you are in the tiny minority of young women who are genuinely happy to have a bald head anyway, then losing my hair is going to affect me mentally and emotionally - at least for a while. If you're used to having anything other than a shaved head, then losing your hair is going to be shit...trust me I know first hand! Everyone knows this. But the nice, well intentioned people I know can't seem to stop themselves from coming out with all sorts of unhelpful comments about it:

It's only hair!
It'll grow back!
You'll rock the skinhead look!
You can have loads of fun with different wigs and hairstyles!
Think of all the time you'll save not having to wash your hair!

UNHELPFUL!! Hair loss is my new reality and we both know it. But that doesn't mean I'm obliged to be HAPPY about it! It doesn't mean I will feel calm about losing my hair. It doesn't mean I have suddenly become someone who is confident and self assured about my appearance, or because I'm facing the ultimate Big Deal that is cancer that I no longer care about silly, trivial things like what other people think about the way I look.

No! I'm likely to be upset, worried, anxious, pissed off. And justifiably so.

(To everyone I know reading this who is not having chemo themselves but is wondering what the right thing to do or say is ... Unless you're about to shave your own hair and eyebrows and remove all eyelashes in solidarity for me then avoid all of the above. Simple statements like "This is awful, I'm bringing you some chocolate" are likely to be much more helpful.)